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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22356697">The Sordid Tales of Bloodied Throne</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/koosei/pseuds/koosei'>koosei</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosamynal/pseuds/rosamynal'>rosamynal</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy XIV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>All Ships, F/F, F/M, LITERALLY, Multi, Orgy, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Original Male Character(s) - Freeform, Purple Prose, Smut, Story Collection, Story within a Story, except ch 1, fuck everything, this will be pure smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:07:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,337</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22356697</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/koosei/pseuds/koosei, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosamynal/pseuds/rosamynal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of stories gathered by Eorzea's premier biographer of the Warrior of Light (as seen in Warrior of Love). </p><p>A tale of two friends, one brain cell, and a very long list of conquests.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Character(s)/Original Character(s), Original Female Character &amp; Original Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Sordid Tales of Bloodied Throne</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ch1 is the only SFW chapter in this fic. It will be long and girthy. One could even call this fic and it's future chapters turgid. This is what happens when a character is created to fuck as many people/creatures/primals as possible, and two great and thirsty minds share one braincell. </p><p>You've been forewarned.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>
  <b>PREFACE</b>
</h1><p>
  <b> <em>A WORD FROM YOUR NARRATOR</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Without a doubt, you wonder as to the purpose of a preface in a collection of stories such as this. </p><p> </p><p>One would think <em> The Sordid Tales of Bloodied Throne </em> to be a clear enough title for the reader to know precisely what to expect, but in truth it only scratches the surface. Be warned, dearest reader, that every word contained in this book is true. I, Hardened Steel, your devoted narrator, have painstakingly collected each and every ribald, risqué, and racy detail from the lips of Bloodied Throne herself so that I may present them in a way specially formatted for your reading pleasure.</p><p> </p><p>‘But Hardened Steel,’ you might cry, ‘is this not a collection of the raunchiest tales imaginable? Are you in fact selling us a mere biography?!’ To you, dear reader, I promise that--with the subject being who she is--the two are in fact inseparable. Any attempt to do so would be a disservice.</p><p> </p><p>‘But Hardened! How do you know so much? If these tales are true, then why would she share them with a man as handsome and charismatic as you?’</p><p> </p><p>That, dear reader, is another story. It is one so pure that it shall be shared here in the preface so as not to be sullied with her later acts. If you are unaware, Hellsguard names are not given at birth. No, instead they are earned through an act that is a testament to their character.</p><p> </p><p>Imagine if you would, the following scene.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It is an idyllic day in the fields of Lower La Noscea. The sky is clear. A gentle sea breeze stirs the tall grass. A small gang of children, primarily Roegadyn with the odd Hyuran child, play at claiming the peak of a small hill. The parents are nearby, cheering their respective child on to victory.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>Suddenly, a tussle occurs near the top. Four children fight fang and claw for the right to claim the summit. One falls and takes another with him, leaving only two wrestling for dominance.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>A pale, black-haired Highlander boy and an auburn-haired Hellsguard girl with skin the color of dark cocoa--of similar height for the moment thanks to their ages and despite their disparate races--snarl and grasp and kick at each other with a few bites and scratches thrown in for good measure.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>It appears the victor has been decided when the Highlander catches his friend in a headlock, scrubbing his knuckles into her short hair. He spins on one foot to throw her from the hilltop. </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>A sly foot slipped into the skirmish sends the boy flailing for balance. A quick push to his shoulder gets him on the ground and he struggles for survival.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>She looks down. He looks up. For all they lack in height and weight due to their ages, the standoff is as tense as any gladiatorial arena. Surging to his knees, the boy throws himself at her with a cry that is less a roar than he would like to admit, aiming to drag her to the foot of the hill along with him.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>Hands on her young, undeveloped hips, the girl strikes out with one sturdily clad foot embellished with dainty, orange flowers. Her foot makes solid contact with his chest. A loud crack follows as his nose makes the acquaintance of her bare knee. He tumbles from the top with a cry.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>The victor stands tall upon the summit like a queen on her throne. A queen with dirt under her nails, a split lip, and a quickly developing black eye, but a queen nonetheless with the fresh blood on her knee serving as further proof of her hard fought battle. The other challengers back off at the sight and instead gather around the boy with blood streaming from his nose.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>A raucous cheer rises from the sidelines. A woman bearing a strikingly similar appearance to the victorious girl collects a drawstring pouch from a disgruntled father.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“That’s my girl! That’s my Bloodied Throne! You’ve earned that name right and true!”</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>"Wait what? She's got her name already?"</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>"I want a name!”</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>"Papa! When do I get my name?!"</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>Another round of chaos spawns amidst the children following the woman’s declaration. The Roegadyn children clamor to their parents for names while the Hyuran children are patiently reminded by indulgent parents that they, in fact, already possess names.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>The bloodied-nosed boy pulls himself to his feet, glaring sullenly at the girl as she careens past to stand by her mother’s side. Another woman approaches him, a damp rag already in hand. The red-haired and tan-skinned Hellsguard is the boy’s adoptive mother, although her height betrays her distant Hyuran heritage. She gently cleans the blood on his face before pressing the rag to his nose. He holds it once she motions for him to take it.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“You can’t win them all, my boy.”</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“I almost had her!”</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“Like hells you did,” a man calls from the sidelines. “If you really think you’ll ever beat a girl who’s going to grow to be twice your size, your mother should call you Stubborn Ass!”</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>The boy growls at the name. Even more so when those around him laugh at the joke. Tears sting his eyes, humiliation conflating with the pain in his nose to make it all the worse.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“I’ll beat her next time! I know I will!”</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“Of course you will, Stubborn Ass.”</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>His mother protectively shields the boy in a hug while glaring daggers at the old Hellsguard. </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“If he’s a Stubborn Ass, then would that make you a Braying Mule?” she spits venomously. “Look at you, a full-grown man and the most you can do is mock a little boy--and still he stands up to you. My boy isn’t stubborn, he’s tenacious. He’s as unyielding and as strong as good, hardened steel!” </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>The woman gasps as if struck by divine inspiration. Sensing the enormity of the situation, the boy looks up at his mother. Hope wells up in his chest to the point that he nearly forgets the pain pulsating in the middle of his face.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“Mama, is that…”</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“I think it is, my boy. You’re my steadfast Hardened Steel.”</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>The announcement sends a fresh wave of questions and demands rippling through the children, much to the dismay of the adults. The girl peels away from her mother and bounds over to the boy. Without warning, she punches him in the shoulder. The boy yells in pain and shock. Before he can question her, she throws her arms around him in a tight hug. </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“You put up a good fight! Wanna try again right now?” </p>
  <p>He blinks at her in confusion.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“Maybe tomorrow once my nose has stopped bleeding?”</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>Her mother calls the girl back to her side using her new name, a large beaming grin breaking across the newly named girl's face. </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“Bloodied Throne! Come on now; we need to get home for dinner!”</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>“We should go too, Hardened Steel,” said the boy’s mother. "You can try again tomorrow, my boy." </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>The two mothers exchange glances over their children's heads. They nod knowingly at each other even as Bloodied Throne brags to Hardened Steel that she'll claim the hill again tomorrow. He, on the other hand, repeats his assertion that she’ll be the one rolling down the hill. </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p>And so began my long friendship with Bloodied Throne. Yes, dear reader, that boy was none other than a younger version of myself. My friend and I have traveled the length and breadth of Eorzea--and beyond even that--following in the wake of the famous Warrior of Light and having adventures of our own along the way.</p><p> </p><p>On the following pages, you will find tales the likes of which will shock your more prudent or sagacious reader. However, should you wish to see just how ribald the world can be, then by all means, please continue. The tales contained herein have been curated specifically for your enjoyment.</p>
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